Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Birthday Bonanza: Megalodons, Camp Hamlet and Last Years’ Post-Apocalypse

As I may have mentioned, by mentioned I mean whined like a small irascible child, it was my 35th birthday at the end of last month. Like any self respecting 35 year old I regarded the day with maturity and balance and conducted myself throughout with the appropriate grace and dignity. Mmmm. Ok, what I actually did was cry, curse God, stuff myself into age inappropriate clothing and then got drunk and forced my friends to let me beat them at Mortal Kombat. So, essentially what I had was my 15th birthday again, only with slightly more wobbly bits around the midsection, a more ‘lived in’ face and considerably more friends. Anyway, the point is I got loads of prizes and I thought I’d share my favourites.

Since acquiring this beauty I have spent a lot of time poncing around in a billowy shirt like the campest Hamlet ever. Love it!

It’s a god damn megalodon tooth, well tooth fossil, but hell, a MEGLODON tooth nonetheless. My gorgeous husband gave me this because he’s awesome and he knows that this wife ain’t no flowers and chocolates kind of wife. I have decided that this is now my number one murder weapon of choice, obviously only if pushed, I’m not going to go bumping people off left, right and centre with a prehistoric shark tooth, I’m not mental or anything, but, if I absolutely have to kill someone (who probably deserves it) then they’re going down Carcharodon style.

I also got a Hellraiser boxset from my BFF Kev and his beautiful girlfriend Lizbet. To make it extra special it had a packet of cigarettes and a can of Jack Daniels and coke stashed inside. Jack Daniels and coke in a can! The wonders of modern technology never fail to amaze me.

I didn’t get any pictures of this birthday, largely because we just got a kitten and the camera was full of pictures of BeBe Gunns doing stuff and being cute. Hundreds and hundreds of pictures of a small cat sleeping, eating, playing, sleeping, hiding, investigating and mainly sleeping. We’re pathetic. So instead here are some pictures from my 34th post-apocalyptic punk birthday. Sorry, it’s the best I can offer.

Jinx and Kev Beyond Thunderdrome
This is me and BFF Kev. I’m looking mournful because I’m 34, this is laughable now. (Apologies for the obtrusive nature of my breasts in this pictures, while I wholeheartedly believe boobies should never be apologised for you didn’t sign up for this from me, I mean it’s probably early in the morning for some of you). The awesome steampunk goggles Kev is sporting in this pic were my birthday present from husband that year. They are fantastic, I wear them while piloting my dirigible and keeping the world safe from suave cape wearing criminal genii and deranged scientists.

There was also drinking:

Lizbet making drinking cool


And 3am Guitar Heroing:

Kev giving his best Cherry Pie

Big Matty is unimpressed by Kev's rendition of Warrant's Cherry Pie
My husband the morning after
And to finish, here's a picture of BeBe Gunns being cute. We have many, many more of these.
So I guess 35 isn't that bad, especially when you still behave like and have the same tastes as a 15 year old.
Right, I'm off to carry on growing old disgracefully.


  1. I have my 34th B-day coming up next week, I know your pain and plan on getting as intoxicated as possible to dull the age pain!

  2. Oh, Daniel, I feel for you. That was my plan too. Actually that's been my birthday plan for quite a while now. But you just remember that boys don't get old and haggered they become distinguished and sexier, like Sean Connery. For me, I'm giving myself a few more years before I get my Baby Jane Hudson on.
    I'm still going to wish you a happy birthday for next week though.

  3. I can't believe I missed your birthday, congrats! That tooth looks freakin' awesome, I'd love to see one of those used in a slasher or something.

    By the way, is that a pink stratocaster in the background?

  4. Hey, Andrei!! The meg tooth is the best, it's beyond awesome, and you're right it should be used in a slasher, that would super cool.
    Sadly it's not a pink strat, it's a pink bass.

  5. Happy birthday! I turned 33 mid-August, so I understand the crying and cursing God bit. But I cursed my parents and drank Halloween-appropriate cocktails, then went and got hammered with my sister's mother in law, who is one of the coolest ladies on the planet. Then: crafts!

    Your goggles are epic. I too would like to pilot a dirigible. I have no goggles, but I DO have leather corsetry. Can I be the steam-punk equivalent of Jane from Firefly in your crew?

    Pee Ess: Kitten made me squee. Scared the shit out of my cats. HA!

  6. Stac, I'd be honoured to have you in a leather corset in my crew, and fear not, I have spare goggles.
    I think we are going to have to start some kind of thirtysomething horror blogger support group.
    Hope your kitties are ok.

  7. In just 8 short months I shall turn 24, woe is me.

    Happy birthday.

  8. Oh, Groundskeeper, bringing your youth and hope and vitality and free from the first signs opf ageing skin round here to mess with the old folks. You rascally young scamp you.

  9. Re: excess frontage - Actually, that IS what I signed up for.
    (I can say things like that because I'm getting married in six weeks.)
    By the way, I saw you scuttling into old age more as Hazel the McWitch than Baby Jane Hudson...

  10. Now, that looks like my kind of party....

  11. I think your norks are awesome. ;)

  12. Matthew, you're damn right, I'd be an awesome elderly deceased witch. Can't believe I didn't recognise that before. She was considerably more classy than me though.
    Ooohh, and it's not long till you get an honest man made of you. Exciting!! Hope there'll be pictures of the big day.

    Andrew, it's the pleather, isn't it? No one can resist the sweatiest of the 80s fabrics. You'd be welcome at my silly parties anytime.

    Oh, Doc, I love everything about that sentence. Norks is the best word ever! I'm so putting that quote in my sidebar!



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