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Rock Horror

I was clearly born to be a rock star, I think that’s obvious, I’ve got the tattoos, the massive hair and I own a lot of leather and leopard print. Clearly, all evidence points to my inherent rock staredness, except for one thing – I was tragically born with absolutely no musical talent whatsoever. None at all. It’s shocking. There are several restraining orders in place that prevent me from even singing in company because it’s so horrible. I truly have the voice of tonally challenged deaf banshee. It’s quite tragic really, you should pity me.
Some people, though, don’t have this problem. Some people are so chock full of talent it’s brimming over, brimming over to such an extent the rock cannot contain it and it has to spurt out into other areas (I achieve much the same effect when I try to wear skinny jeans) and often the area it spurts into is horror, and we get to enjoy the bountiful outpourings.

Dee Snider, Stangeland (1998)
In the 80s Dee Snider confused a lot of dads as the androgy…

Hotter Than Hell

The UK is currently in the grip of a heatwave and we are not dealing well with it. As a nation, we are largely not built for heat. We are pale and delicate and used to being vitamin D deficient. We are built along the Gollum lines, we are a nation that thrives on drizzle and this heat is very much not on indeed. I myself am very much at risk of turning into a melted puddle of bubbling lard around a pair of boots.
As this nonsense is apparently set to continue, I am acknowledging this with a montage of heat in horror or some depictions of how I am currently feeling via the medium of horror film.  Seriously, send help.

Sand Sharks (2011)

As a non swimmer I've felt smugly content in my unlikeliness to be eaten by shark, so naturally land sharks are my biggest fear and I have always held a sneaking suspicion that one day they will arrive. And now they have. We’re doomed, we’re all doomed.  
An underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean’s surface unleashing a prehistoric predator on the peaceful seaside community of White Sands. Meanwhile White Sand’s prodigal son and dedicated party boy Jimmy Green (Corin ‘Parker Lewis, I Know My First Name Is Steven, Jonas Quinn’ Nemec) returns to home town intent on organising a spring break beach festival appropriately named The Sandman Festival. Unfortunately his plans haven’t taken into account one thing, the newly freed prehistoric predator’s ability to swim on land. Tremors meets Jaws, what could be better than that?
After a pair of dirt biker disappear whilst riding the dunes local cops Sheriff John Stone (Eric Scott Woods) and his sister Brenda (Vane…

Women In Horror Month: The From Beyond the Grave Edition

I'm still here, lurking. I'm watching you. I might be behind you right now......or under your bed...........or probably more likely I'm on the couch drinking tea, covered in cats thinking about how awesome horror is and how awesome women are and how awesome those things together are. But that still could be your couch. What time are you coming home anyway? I'm hungry bring pizza.

Guest Post: Anthony J. Rapino

Hey, everyone, remember me?! I’m still alive! Though I do have the worst flu in the history of mankind ever so it could go either way at this point. Ok, I’m sorry, that was massive exaggeration, I have a bit of a cold and I’m feeling very sorry for myself., I can’t see properly and my head feels like it’s full of cotton wool soaked in pain. However, what has cheered me up today is receiving this wonderful guest post from the lovely Anthony J. Rapino. Thanks to Mr. Rapino I am now considerably happier and totally in the mood for Halloween, if only he could cure my cold and persuade one of my cats to come and cuddle me then things would be perfect.
I do hope that you enjoy Anthony’s post as much as I did, I will leave you in his capable hands and I promise to be back soon, probably with something shark related (I’m so predictable).

I Love October
Anthony J. Rapino

October is here, and I am happy.When I tell people that I love October, autumn, and Halloween, they invariably say, “Well that …

Super Shark (2011)

Well. It’s that time of year again when the weather starts warming up*, the nights get longer and my mind inevitably turns to one thing and one thing only. Sharks!

For various sciency, environmental disastery reasons an evil oil corporation accidently unleashes a Megalodon from its prehistoric slumber to terrorise a small beach community, on the 4th of July no less. Enter marine biologist Cat Carmichael from the Oceanic Investigation Bureau (??!!) to sort things out, if only she had a very poor man’s Quint to help her. Wait a minute.......

Super Shark brings a new level of insanity to the shark movie genre. As a connoisseur of this genre I know I’m enjoying myself when I can’t decide whether a film is actually complete and utter crap or absolute genius, so with that in mind I can only come to one conclusion - Super Shark could possibly be one of the best bad movie ever. My first clue to this came when it had its own theme song over the opening titles, ‘Super Shark’ clearly heavily infl…

The Further Adventures of Musicians in Horror

Now, you may be asking, the Further Adventures, Jinx? Where are the initial adventures of these musicians in horror? And you'd be right to ask. They're here: Caliban's Revenge, in an utterly marvellous guest post I did a little while ago. It's marvellous, really top notch, you should check it out. Say hi to gorgeous Prospero while you're there 'cos he's great.

Henry Rollins, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)

Henry Rollins is awesome. I don’t even particularly feel like I have to justify this, you just need to look at any given Rollins biography to get a sense of his awesomeness: Singer-songwriter, spoken word artist, writer, activist, comedian, publisher, actor, and radio DJ. He’s awesome. He’s also kindly contributed to the horror genre which makes me very happy.

Wrong Turn 2 takes the format of a post-apocalyptic Survivor type reality show, with added inbred hillbilly cannibals.

Henry Rollins stars as Col. Dale Murphy, host of the show and in a somewhat surprisin…