Goth Girls' Detective Club

As a non swimmer I've felt smugly content in my unlikeliness to be eaten by shark, so naturally land sharks are my biggest fear and I have always held a sneaking suspicion that one day they will arrive. And now they have. We’re doomed, we’re all doomed.   An underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean’s surface unleashing a prehistoric predator on the peaceful seaside community of White Sands. Meanwhile White Sand’s prodigal son and dedicated party boy Jimmy Green (Corin ‘Parker Lewis, I Know My First Name Is Steven, Jonas Quinn’ Nemec) returns to home town intent on organising a spring break beach festival appropriately named The Sandman Festival. Unfortunately his plans haven’t taken into account one thing, the newly freed prehistoric predator’s ability to swim on land. Tremors meets Jaws, what could be better than that? After a pair of dirt biker disappear whilst riding the dunes local cops Sheriff John Stone (Eric Scott Woods) and his si...

Now, you may be asking, the Further Adventures, Jinx? Where are the initial adventures of these musicians in horror? And you'd be right to ask. They're here: Caliban's Revenge , in an utterly marvellous guest post I did a little while ago. It's marvellous, really top notch, you should check it out. Say hi to gorgeous Prospero while you're there 'cos he's great. Henry Rollins, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007) Henry Rollins is awesome. I don’t even particularly feel like I have to justify this, you just need to look at any given Rollins biography to get a sense of his awesomeness: Singer-songwriter, spoken word artist, writer, activist, comedian, publisher, actor, and radio DJ. He’s awesome. He’s also kindly contributed to the horror genre which makes me very happy. Wrong Turn 2 takes the format of a post-apocalyptic Survivor type reality show, with added inbred hillbilly cannibals. Henry Rollins stars as Col. Dale Murphy, host of the show and in a some...

Things That Have Kept Me Off the Streets the Last Few Weeks: Frayed – Only watched this because the psycho killer had the same name as my brother and that amused me. Feast Trilogy - Flesh eating beasts, Henry Rollins, Mexican midget wrestlers, tattooed biker chicks and boobies. What could possibly be wrong with these movies? Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein – Still funny. Abbott and Costello: Hold that Ghost – As above Who Done it? – Ditto. Abbot and Costello Meet the Mummy – And one more time for luck. Laid to Rest – Sometimes people who are stalked by a raging, chrome-faced mental case deserve all they get. April Fool’s Day (1986) – I have the biggest soft for this movie. Session 9 – Creepy. The Mist – You just knew how this was going to end! Damn it, Stephen King! Friday the Thirteenth 3-D – Sometimes Channel 4 just pisses me off. Despite them for some reason insisting in their trailers that this was 70s film, it wasn’t, and neither was Jaws 3-D...

1. Stripped to the waist octogenarian take down a plate throwing dwarf with one of his own plates. Thank you ‘Skinned Deep’! You cost me £1 and you gave me so much! 2. Shark take down a plane mid flight. You rock, ‘Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus’! 3. Room full of hookers explode due to the ingestion of ‘super crack’. What can I say, 'Frankenhooker'? Your minxy little title sold me and you were all I dreamed. 4. Shark have sex with octopus. Actually didn’t even know I wanted to see this until watching the movie that fulfilled number 3 on this list. For the briefest of seconds I actually thought that mega shark and giant octopus were going to do it, but they didn’t, and now it’s like an obsession I need to see a shark and octopus get it on.  I think I have problems. 5. Ed Gein the Musical.

A long, long time ago in the 80s little Jinx was brought up on steady diet of golden age Hollywood, comic books, Carry On films and Hammer Horror. It made her the person she is today, and probably explains a lot about her psychology maybe even why she is referring to herself in the third person at this very moment, but anyway, the point is this: in a later time, lets call it ‘now’, big Jinx was reminded of why she fell in love with horror in the first place and it was good. It was my hubby who brought I Sell the Dead to my attention and as he’s not inclined to go into a film knowing too much about the plot all he said was I’d love it and that it had Ron Pearlman in it. I heard the words Ron and Pearlman in the same sentence and I was sold. Ron Pearlman and Hobbit Grave robbers Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) and Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden), having eventually fallen foul of the nineteenth century’s zero tolerance justice system find themselves facing the gruesome feat of ...