Goth Girls' Detective Club

I was unreasonably excited about The Legend of Harrow Woods for the longest time before I managed to see it. I mean unreasonably excited bordering on obsessed. In my defence, this was largely because of the incongruous ensemble cast. The Legend of Harrow Woods/Evil Calls: The Raven stars absurdly stars; Rik Mayall: 80s alternative comedy star and master of the knob gag. Jason Donovan: Australian ex soap star and sometime botherer of the 80s charts Robin Askwith: improbable 70s sex machine star of the ‘Confessions....’ films Norman Wisdom: comedy legend and undisputed king of the pratfall Christopher Walken: yup, Christopher ruddy Walken Unreasonably excited With a cast like that you expect something, you expect there’ll be something about it that drew these people to put their names to it, some degree of quality or interesting experimentation, you expect at the very least it will be bizarrely compelling, but Harrow Woods Evil Ravens provides none of this. Bloody...

I was going to post today, but blogger hates  me and kept screwing it up and I got stroppy, so that put an end to that. Grrr, I say, grrr. It was an awesome post too, really quite extraordinary, you wouldn't have believed it.  (It really wasn't, I don't know why I said that, I'm sorry). Needless to say I am very angry at technology at the moment and am going to shout at the internet for a while. I shall try and post it again later when I've stopped sulking.  In the meantime, instead of a proper post, here's a picture of me and BeBe pretending we're not watching Dancing on Ice . We're not, we're really not. 

I'm here, I'm here!!! Bloody hell it’s been a while. First off my most massive and hearty apologies for disappearing for months on end without so much as a by-your-leave, I’m a shocking disgrace and I shouldn’t be tolerated. Secondly, some excuses: it’s been a bit of tough time in The House of Jinx. I was made redundant at the end of September - given as I did very little at work for a good year this wasn’t much of a surprise, also, those of you who have read previous posts will know I despised my job with a fiery passion will also know this wasn’t a great loss. However, financially the lack of income (such as it was) is a bit devastating, point being we’ve all been a bit miserable around here for a while hence my recent absence. But, fear not, we have been handling it in the typically grown-up fashion you would expect of me. The way my husband and I see it is that we’re like a long running TV show, we’ve been around for a lot seasons now and the producers have decided to thr...

 for shame  Normal(ish) service (and apologies) will resume shortly. Miss you. xxx

‘Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’.’ As you may know, (because I keep mentioning it) me and Jaws are the same age. Well, to be accurate, Jaws is a couple of months older, but apparently it’s only me that’s counting that, Jaws has yet to express an opinion so probably isn’t bothered. Anyway, as it’s my stupid 36th birthday tomorrow I thought it would be nice (and also might distract me from the horror of the event a bit) to celebrate Jaws and why it’s The Greatest Movie Ever. I’m sure that there is a complex and intricate criteria for determining the Greatest Movie Ever. A lot of learned people are probably involved and it probably takes into account a great many elements of the filmmaking process, the artistic merits of the finished product and box office results. Or it’s a pubic phone in on Channel Four. Either way, it’s nearly always Citizen Kane . Now, while Orson Welles’ masterwork may well be a incomparable example of filmmaking genius, I prefer to judge my ...

I love red! I think it’s awesome, awesome like Def Leppard, and kittens, and Tony Todd, and Saturdays, and Christmas, and pizza, and horror triple pack DVDs and Magic Sand……. Yup, I do love red and it’s the hair colour I’ve stuck to most enduringly. While I have had many a ridiculous hair colour in my time, red is the one I always come back to, it suits me, it makes happiest, I feel most comfortable and most like myself as a redhead. And, as far as I’m concerned, you can never be too red. However, recently, I’ve been a bit blue. Not for any particular reason, just a bit down, kind of like how you feel just after Christmas when all the excitement is over and you are faced with going back to work/school and the long, bleak months of cold and snow and ice and sleet and general freezing misery stretch out ahead. I hasten to add at this point that I’m absolutely fine, this current, vague existential ennui is just a passing fad that will dissipate instantly just a soon as I spot somethi...

No, not 1973 horror classic starring lovely Michael Gough and seventies love machine Robin Askwith, no, it’s all about me! Though Horror Hospital would have been better and more fun, sorry, for letting you down there. I’m off this afternoon to get my stupid foot injected with steroids. Yay! I’m getting myself through this horrific trauma by partially hoping that it is going to turn me into some manner of freaky footed superhero, probably one with one massive foot that is very good at kicking things but mainly spends the rest of the time running round in a small, tight circle. This is probably not going to happen. Stupid foot I’m fairly certain that my tolerance for pain is quite high. I've sat and been tattooed for five hours straight, for Perlman’s sake, not to mention the fact that I wandered round with this agonising foot fiasco for a good eight months saying ‘it’ll be fine’ through gritted teeth before I finally relented and sought medical attention. However, medica...

My brother: the pride of 1986 Many notable events occurred in 1986. Halley’s Comet put in an appearance, and became the first comet to be observed in detail by a spaceship. Mexico hosted the football World Cup and saw Diego Maradona’s infamous (and rather cheaty) ‘Hand of God’ bring victory for Argentina. We put our Hands Across America, (not me personally sadly, I was busy starting Big School), to fight hunger. And, most importantly, my little brother was born! Kurt came into this world on 16th May 1986 at 15.05 weighing in at a mighty, and rather alarming, 9lb 3oz, and he has plagued and delighted my life ever since. Initially I was none too thrilled about getting a little brother, I’d have rather gotten a dog, or Mousetrap, but despite my repeated assertions that we didn’t need a baby one turned up anyway and I reluctantly became a big sister. To my eternal regret I wasn’t the greatest big sister. I spent much of Kurt’s early life either ignoring him or tormenting him. The two...

You have may have noticed that I haven’t been around the ole internet as often as usual, certainly not as often as I would like. I haven’t been posting as much and have been neglecting on your delicious blogs terribly, particularly when comes to making comments, for which there is no excuse. I’m appalled at myself, I really am. Partly this is because of my own stupidity. In an embarrassingly tragic turn of events I recently managed to spill vinegar onto my, already a bit rubbish, laptop. That’s right, vinegar. It made an alarming fizzing noise, and while it still kind of works it’s a bit crap. Frankly it was already a bit crap due to minor dropping incident last year, there must be a loose connection somewhere and it’s really difficult to keep the screen from flickering horrendously without contorting yourself into ridiculous positions and loosing sensation in your fingers from bracing the screen, the vinegar has clearly only exacerbated this problem. I shouldn’t be allowed technolo...