Monday, 15 March 2010

Movie Psychic Monday

Zarabeth (Kathleen Wilhoite)
Witchboard (1986)

Zarabeth comes quite low down on my list of favourite movie psychics because, quite honestly, she scares me. As the resident psychic of the 1986 extravaganza of nonsensical silliness Witchboard, Zarabeth lends her considerable Lauperesque talents to persistent frenzied car bonnet roller Tawny Kitaen and her probably homosexual husband in order to deal with a self--inflicted spirit problem that, frankly, they deserved on the grounds of stupidity and for inviting the irritating guy from the office who everyone calls a knob behind his back and sometimes to his face to their boring party with his stupid weegee board, yeah, knobby guy, I said weegee, what you going to do about it? What's that? Oh, yeah, nothing, 'cos you're dead, your weegee board killed you. Sucks to be you.   

What Zarabeth brings to the psychic table is a down to earth, no-nonsense if discordantly tuned approach to dead bothering and a hair do that's possibly highly flammable and in direct violation of a number of health and safety regulations.

Unfortunately for all eighties people in need of psychic aid who don't have the Ghostbusters' telephone number, she then falls into the classic horror death trap of having an inkling of what’s going on, refusing to share it with it anyone, conducting her own research and confirming her suspicions which naturally then ends up her dying rather foolishly by impaling herself on a sundial before she can share it.

Here we see her clad in full battle dress ready to take on any army of the unquiet dead that hell can throw at her armed only with a voice that could strip flesh from bone and variety of improbably flavoured bubblegums.

Here endeth the cautionary tale of Sarah 'Zarabeth' Crawford. 
So, until next time, in the words of Zarabeth herself; ‘Hang loose, stay cool, and don't forget your psychic humour.’
(Wonder if I could make this into a Top Trump deck?......)


  1. I always had rather a soft spot for Wilhoite, ever since I saw her in Murphy's Law with Charles Bronson. Star potential, I thought. Guess she just does tv movies and stuff now.
    How do you reckon she pronounces her name, by the way? Will-hoyt? Or Willow-eet?

  2. I like to think Will-hoyt, but that could just be as it sounds most British, or Will-hotty maybe, yeah, that's cute.
    She does seem to crop up in odd things I've noticed. She was probably most recognised, arguably, as the junkie sister in ER. I like to think she's well occupied being eccentric and zany somewhere.



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