Goth Girls' Detective Club

I was clearly born to be a rock star, I think that’s obvious, I’ve got the tattoos, the massive hair and I own a lot of leather and leopard print. Clearly, all evidence points to my inherent rock staredness, except for one thing – I was tragically born with absolutely no musical talent whatsoever. None at all. It’s shocking. There are several restraining orders in place that prevent me from even singing in company because it’s so horrible. I truly have the voice of tonally challenged deaf banshee. It’s quite tragic really, you should pity me. Some people, though, don’t have this problem. Some people are so chock full of talent it’s brimming over, brimming over to such an extent the rock cannot contain it and it has to spurt out into other areas (I achieve much the same effect when I try to wear skinny jeans) and often the area it spurts into is horror, and we get to enjoy the bountiful outpourings.   Dee Snider, Stangeland (1998) In the 80s Dee Snider confused a lo...

The UK is currently in the grip of a heatwave and we are not dealing well with it. As a nation, we are largely not built for heat. We are pale and delicate and used to being vitamin D deficient. We are built along the Gollum lines, we are a nation that thrives on drizzle and this heat is very much not on indeed. I myself am very much at risk of turning into a melted puddle of bubbling lard around a pair of boots. As this nonsense is apparently set to continue, I am acknowledging this with a montage of heat in horror or some depictions of how I am currently feeling via the medium of horror film.  Seriously, send help.